just ignore this

So I feel like there are a million things I should be doing. Number one on that list would be sleeping, but I am tired of sleeping in that huge bed all by myself. I wish he was there next to me when I fell asleep and in the morning when I woke up. I wish I could hear his voice and see his face.

I am tired of living in a place that is constantly dirty, where I feel I am constantly in the way, where I can't have something where I want it to be. Johnny is moving his stuff into the house now. He has to be out of his apartment by noon tomorrow.

I got tired of having to move a fan everytime I wanted to get into the cabinet where all of my dishes are so I put it on the counter in front of a cabinet that we never use. Today Johnny brought his microwave over and the stupid fan got put right back in the spot I had just moved it from, because that was where he wanted the microwave.

Since school ended I have been terrible at e-mailing and writing to Nathan. I feel like all I have to do is complain about work and Johnnifer. He doesn't need to be worried about me and how miserable I have gotten since I last saw him.

I want to be happy, but no matter where I go something is constantly making me sad.

Jennifer got mad at me for calling the vet, because Merlin is in heat and she keeps getting out of the house and I don't want kittens. Then she got pissed off at me because I wouldn't tell her where I was going when I left the house. She isn't my mom or my babysitter. She never tells me where she is going, they never have the cell phone so you can get ahold of them if you need to. I at least take my cell with me when I take off.

When I got back they were gone again, she thought I was pissed off at her.

Just because I don't feel like telling her exactly where I am going and what I am going to do I am all of a sudden pissed off. When the only thing she says to me everyday is have you been to work yet or do you have to work late. Why should I feel the need to check in with her.

I'm getting a stupid cold, I have a long day tomorrow. Orientation at Target from 6-9:30 pm and work at Taco Bell from 10-3am. I'm tired of always being tired and worn out and unhappy.

I want to go home...