i got help you can too

I feel like less of a retard. When dealing with my literary appreciation I feel incompetent. The professor makes me feel like I am a two years old with how much she yells at me and tells me my ideas are all wrong. As long as you don’t contradict her you aren’t wrong. She said that to us in class one day. I couldn’t believe it.

Once again I got a C on my test in her class. This time we did so poorly that she is letting us redo one of the essay questions. I fixed it up the best I could, and then I asked the English tutor to proof read it and make any suggestions. I feel like I am a human again. And, I actually understand why I made the mistakes and what they were and have a better understanding of how to fix them.

When I asked the professor for help Thursday in class all she did was yell at me, sorry I don’t function well when I feel threatened. I didn’t understand a thing she was trying to tell me.

I know understand why I feel so threatened by her though. bonkrood told me that the people she work with told her (look at creeksta the little gossip) that she had to take a year off from teaching to get anger management counseling because she used to hit students in class.

Anyway, I have never gone to a tutor before, not since high school when my mom paid the Junior High science teacher to tutor me in Algebra because the teacher had labeled me a C or D student and wouldn’t help me at all. We later found out the reason I did so poorly in that class was because of my thyroid disease. It was my last class of the day and by the end of the day I had so much of the hormones built up in my system that I couldn’t concentrate at all.

The next year I was on medication, retook that class and got an A+. But, that was my only experience with a tutor until today. I don’t know why I was so afraid of the tutors making me feel dumber than I already did.

I think I need a sign like Sandra Bullock did in 28days.

Sometimes admitting that I need help is the best thing I can do…