hot chili...me?!?!

This is a short disclaimer. The conversation may have not actually gone exactly the way I have recalled it here. It is close enough to actuality though.

So there I was at work in my, oh so unflattering dirty Taco Bell uniform. (Like anything I wear looks very flattering.) It is right around 1 am and the bars have just closed. Like always I am working drive-thru for the bar rush because I am quick and sweet as sugar to most of the slightly inebriated crazies that feel the need to drive after drinking.

"Thank you for stopping at Taco Bell. Take your time and order when you're ready."

"One moment please."

"Alright go ahead and order whenever you are ready." I collect on the order at the window ask if they want sauces hand them their food and tell them to have a goodnight.

"Are you still there?"

"Go ahead and order when you are ready."

"Número seis, Mountain Dew."

"Would you like your Taco crunchy or soft?"

"Soft."

"Would you like your chalupas baja, supreme or nacho cheese?"

"Señorita I want a número seis with Mountain Dew comprende?"

"I understand that you want a number six and a Mountain Dew but how would you like your chalupas?"

"Baja señorita. It is señorita or señora?"

"Señorita, will that be everything for you tonight?"

"Are you a bonita señorita? Are you as bonita as you sound?"

"That will be $4.92 at the window please pull forward." (I am thinking to myself that a crazy drunk pedophile is at my drive-thru. I have heard myself on my voice mail and on answering machines, I sound like a four year old.)

They pull up to the window and I learn that the Spanish speaking Romeo is not driving. (The world is saved from another drunk driver. Last night some dude passed out in my drive-thru and we had to call the police.) But he is practically climbing over his driver just so he can look at me and harass me some more. If Jeff had not been busy taking orders at the counter I would have asked him to hand the order out for me.

It is bad for me to assume that everyone that comes into Taco Bell after 1 am is/has been drinking, he may have been totally sober. I understand this but seven out of ten of the people who come in that late have been drinking. The other 3 of that 10 are either the DD or just got off work and are getting dinner/breakfast before they go home.

They funny thing about it was the driver (who looked like he was 18 or 19) also looked like he was straight out of one of the stupid Old Navy commercials and Romeo looked like a white guy trying to look like a guy that belonged on America’s Most Wanted List. (He kind of reminded me of Rory only with fewer piercings and tattoos.) For those of you who do not know who I am referring to you are not missing a whole lot. I wish I were lucky enough to be a part of your number.

So I take their money. The whole time Romeo is trying to get me to talk to him en español. I was tired and did not feel good before I left for work, by this point I feel even worse. I can understand what he is saying to me but I can only think of responses en français. So I just hand out the order and tell them to have a good night and pretend I do not understand what he is saying.

I have never been called a hot chili before. I hope he was referring to the peppers and not the messy stuff with the beans and meat. (Not that I do not love some chili, but I have enough trouble convincing myself that I am not a mess. I do not need Romeo telling me that I am one.)

In unrelated news I have almost finished reading the copy of The Fellowship of the Ring I bought back in March. I have not decided if I want to read The Two Towers before the movie comes out or after. I kind of like thinking back on the movie as I read it happening and imagining how they would have done the stuff that was left out of the movie.

I am all into the mental images while I read but I guess I am lazy and I want someone else's imagination to be the basis of what happens in my imagination. Maybe I am just super uncreative.

I am going to read for a bit then go to bed. I have to call the trailer park manager tomorrow and ask him about this cable bill I found in the mailbox when I got off work.