he'll be gone in twelve hours

I spoke to him for the last time. I won’t hear his beautiful voice again until December of 2003.

I didn’t cry last night while I was on the phone. I wouldn’t let myself cry. I had already started to cry when I heard his voice on the answering machine. I had missed his first call for a candy bar. He said he would call back but it was already almost 11 pm, I truly wasn’t expecting him to call back last night.

I am not even sure how long we talked, but it didn’t seem long enough. At around 12:30 I told him goodbye and that I loved him. I didn’t want to hang up the phone yet, I knew that he needed to go to bed. Today is going to be very busy for him. He has to finish packing all of his things. The stuff he is taking with him and the stuff that he his leaving at his grandparent’s house. The stereo, the VCRs, the DVD player, Nintendo 64, Playstation…All the stuff that he can’t take with him but doesn’t want all of his little cousins to break while he is gone.

They are leaving at 3am tomorrow morning. He will be gone, in Utah until February and then in Mexico until December of 2003. When I asked if his time in Utah counted as part of his mission, I was relieved to know that it was. I am sure that I would be able to handle not seeing him for a few extra months, but to know that he will be home three months sooner than I figured is nice.

But, just thinking about the fact that he is leaving in twelve and a half hours makes me want to cry. I didn’t want to fall in love for along time after the disaster my last relationship ended up being. But I did and I just want to be able to be with him not in a different country.