Hey you suckers, eat my shorts

So when I made the entry from when I ran the stoplight and named it what I did, I knew that I was gonna get a few search hits. But, now I am just sick of it. I think I may go and change the subject of the entry to Look mom! I ran a stoplight.

Since I made that entry every time I check my sitemeter I have a referal from a search about doggy style sex. The thing that bothers me the most about it is the fact that it isn't even directing them to the entry about the stop light. It directs them to the entry in Feburary when Jennifer and Johnny had a huge fight and I proclaimed that sex is evil and only causes problems. So people are clicking on the link to my page expecting to hear some great sex stories and all I do is say sex is bad.

However I doubt changing the subject of the entry is going to fix either of the problems so I am just going to leave things the way they are and not complain about all the extra hits to my diary due to the incredible amount of perverts in this world.

<3

Typing pervert just reminded me of something I asked bonkrood the other night. I think the movie that the sexual prevert line came from was "Say It Ain't So." I think it was the hairdresser or someone like that, that kept saying pervert like prevert.

<3

Jennifer had the pleasure of waking me up about a million times again this morning. Around 10:30 she woke up and I could hear her and it woke me up enough to realize that I needed to go to the little girls room. When I came back out all I hear is Jennifer yelling my name and whimpering. At first I thought something was seriously wrong so I hobbled out (my knee was still a little stiff) into the kitchen to see what was wrong. As soon as the TV was in sight I saw flopping tits and it was the TV making the whimpering sound not Jennifer.

It turns out "Coven" that movie that Jennifer just had to watch was an erotic horror flick. So of course I had to give her a little crap. "You woke me up so I could watch porn with you? When did you start renting pornographic movies?" That is when she looked a little closer at what the box had to say. In ity bity print on the side of the box it says erotic horror.

I sat down and watched the movie with Jennifer. It wasn't really porn, there was like 3 sex scenes and you saw plenty of boobs. I still don't recommend renting that movie anytime soon.

The footage was poorly shot (there was an extra layer to everything because of the glare from the sunlight on everything shot outside.) The editting was even crapper than the filming, who ever wrote the script did very little research on the catholic church and on wicca. And most of the script was taken right from the movie The Craft circa 1996.

The evil witch forms a coven of four representing earth, water, fire, air and the directions north, east, south and west,(real covens usually consist of 7 or 13 memebers) and then reeks havoc on all that oppose her. The good witch stands up to her and they have a big fight and the good witch wins, and everyone that wasn't killed lives happily ever after.

<3

After the movie was over I went to back to sleep. Before Jennifer decided to go run errands she woke me up to ask some silly question and twice to bring me the phone.

The first call was someone from AOL wanting to send me some free gift along with another free gift that if I couldn't afford to send back after 30 days I would have to pay the $40 value of the free gift plus the cost of sending it to me as a free gift in the first place.

The second call was a sweepstakes thing for being a credit card holder. It wasn't until Jennifer dropped the phone on the side of my head and I heard some strange voice in my ear that Jennifer saying "It's for you," became not part of the wonderful dream that I had been having. I wasn't very nice to that poor lady on the other end of my phone. I kind of mumbled at her and told her I wasn't interested.

I am sleeping, she has been answering the phone for enough years that she should understand that whenever someone calls and asks for ms. crista (insert lastname here) it is a telemarketer. You shouldn't feel the need to wake me up to deal with that particular phone call. Ask to take a message, they will just say it is a courtesy call and ask for a better time to call back later.

Tonight on our way out to Wal-Mart I made the comment that I was just going to start waking her up whenever I felt like it. Johnny said "I do it all the time."

<3

After we took Johnny back to his apartment, I made Jennifer drive over to the mailboxes (it rained all day and I didn't feel like walking over there earlier.) Darn good thing I did that. At the beginning of the month Jennifer went to her bank and got temporary checks because she waited until she ran out of real checks to order new ones. Then she used these temporary checks to pay her rent here at the trailer, Johnny's rent at the apartment and Johnny's cell phone bill. Tonight when I pull the mail out of the mail box, wishing that my August copy of Cosmo would be there because it is already in the stores, I find a letter to Jennifer from the company that owns our trailer park.

I got back into the car and told her she had better open that right away to see what it is, because my name is the main name on the agreement with the company and I didn't have a letter also.

She opens the letter and starts screaching and then yells and started crying. I looked at the letter, reacted in a calmer fashion and asked her if when she ordered her new checks when they came in if she checked her account number before using them. She didn't use one of those checks, she used those ones from the bank. "Jennifer, do you still have one of those checks left, when we get home check the account number that they wrote on the check."

We got home, she checked the check and the lady had written the wrong account number. So her rent check was returned, and she recieved this letter saying she now owed Park Manor $190 for late rent, plus $25 for a returned check.

Jennifer called the bank's 24 hour customer service line and used the magic water works on the poor soul that answered the phone. (Seriously if you have had your phone shut off or the power company is getting ready to shut off your electricity all you have to do is let my sister call them and she will have them wrapped around her finger in no time and turning the stuff back on within an hour of getting off the phone.)

When she gets off work tomorrow she has to take the letter down to the bank, the counter check that she has left, and the bank is going to have to clear the check she wrote for the rent and also cover the extra charges incurred due to their mistake. I am sure that the same will be happening as the other checks and letters from places she mailed the counter checks start showing up. The bank is going to loose a bunch of money due to this small mistake and I am sure if Jennifer hadn't just ordered two boxes of checks for this account she would be transferring to a different bank.

She will probably be making one of her phone calls to Verizon in the next few days crying and getting them to turn Johnny's phone back on. Listening to her during these phone calls is an interesting thing.

The first time her phones got shut off she told them some story about how they needed their phones (they had two phones then, it was before Johnny lost his phone and checkbook) so that they could find jobs, and it didn't matter how many job applications she turned in she would never be able to pay them if no one could call her to set up an interview. Her story was mostly true but she had already started working at McDonald's when this happened. So she didn't really need it so she could get job interviews. With in 30 minutes of getting of the phone both of their cell phones were working again.

Before we went home to WY, they got a letter saying the power at their apartment was going to be shut off if they didn't pay for the 3 months worth of electricity they had not paid for yet within 5 days. She called and got an extension on that until after we got back from WY.

It is freaky how she can wrap a person around her finger if she sheds a few tears, even if the person can't see her face as she does it. There may be tears, but the freaky evil grin says it all...
"Hey you suckers, eat my shorts!"